The Patrick Henry Party

teabagger showin' his mad skillz, yo

Teabaggers in Arizona have channeled the spirit of Patrick Henry.  “Give us our garbage man or give us death!”

These goofballs are claiming that their freedoms are being infringed because their town is going to make them all use the same trash removal company.  There’s nothing that says totalitarianism quite like a garbage monopoly.

According to the Huffington Post, teabaggers in Fountain Hills, AZ, refuse to be pawns in a diabolical move toward socialism.

In a bulletin entitled “Trash Talk,” the Fountain Hills Tea Party wrote on its website: “On Thursday, November 4 the Fountain Hills Town Council decided, by a 4-3 vote, to take away your ability to choose your own trash hauler. Councilmembers Brown, Dickey, and Leger, along with Mayor Schlum, voted for this action. Councilmembers Contino, Elkie, and Hansen voted to preserve your freedom. Once more, government is trying to restrict free market economics. If you don’t like it, stay tuned.”

The Town Council has claimed that the current system results in five different companies removing trash from the same streets, which means five different trash bins, different days on which trash is removed from the same street, and five times the number of industrial trucks causing damage to town roads.  Apparently unknown to teabaggers is the cost this contributes to road maintenance and, frankly, the disruption of peace that suburbanites claim to seek.  And, of course, they fail to understand that the scale of service should result in a much lower competitive bid than they would get from five companies with many fewer clients.  But who ever said teabaggers understand … well, anything?

But there’s more to this than meets the eye.  According to the teabaggers:

“Opponents of the free-market would have a hard time arguing with the fact that only capitalism could create a situation where companies fight for the honor to haul away and dispose of your least wanted stuff: your family’s garbage and waste.”

This is about liberty and capitalism and … honor!

Sheesh.  What a bunch of fucking bozos.  Teabaggers are as goofy as those Civil War reenactors and weekend militia men who play in the woods with their friends.  Actually, teabaggers probably ARE those same goofy doofuses.

Teabaggers never miss an opportunity to display their profound stupidity.  In just this one incident they’ve demonstrated hilarious ignorance of basic civics and economic theory while providing even more evidence that they really have absolutely nothing else to do with their time.

But, hey, it probably feels good to be outraged and feel like a martyr under attack for a cause far greater than themselves.

Nah, there very clearly is nothing greater to a teabagger than himself.


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