Palin Platitudinalisms Paloozaganza

embarrassing successful, self-respecting women since 2007

Hey, if Sarah Palin can make up words and get them in the dictionary, then I can too.

All of this Palin stuff is really late but she’s always good for a laugh.

* As you know, one of Palin’s verbal gaffes has made it to the New Oxford American Dictionary.  Once on FOX and again on Twitter, Palin (created and) used the word refudiate.  Not refute; not repudiate.  Refudiate.  Responding to critics, Palin said, “Shakespeare liked to coin new words too. Got to celebrate it!”  Seriously.  That imbecile compared herself to Shakespeare.

* Kelly B gave me the 4-1-1 on a Twitter page dedicated to Palin’s elocution: Shakespalin.  A couple of humorous Shakespalin quips in response to Palin’s Oxford honor:

Bristol on Mom’s “WordOfTtheYear” #Refudiate: “Kinda bummed. At our house the Dictionary WAS the perfect place to hide weed” #palin

Mock not my senseless conjugation, just tell me where I can pick up my Oxford “Word of the Year” prize money. #refudiate #palin

* Sarah Palin’s Alaska on TLC has received a bunch of attention, too.  Apparently TLC is targeting the train wreck demographic among us.    Also from Kelly B is a New Yorker article about the tv show that perfectly expresses what most of us feel.

“When it comes to Palin specifically, there is the fundamental problem that some of us don’t want to see or hear any more of her than we have to. And there are those whose objections have a physiological basis as well as an ideological one: the pitch and timbre of her voice, the rhythms of her speech, her syntax, and the way she coats acid and incoherence with cheery musical inflections join together in a sickening synergy that distresses the listener, triggering a fight-or-flight reaction. When Palin talks, my whole being wails, like Nancy Kerrigan after Tonya Harding’s ex-husband kneecapped her: “Why? Why? Why?””

Here’s a quote from her tv show.  Apparently she thinks her audience are fucking morons. (Ironic, I know.)

“The plane alights on a glacier. Do you know about glaciers? They are made of ice. Perhaps for that reason, “pilots have to be so extremely careful in landing their bush plane up there on the glacier,” Palin tells us. “It’s not like landing on a gravel strip or a paved strip. Landing on a glacier is completely different, much more dangerous.”

Palin seems like a provincial hillbilly whose only human contact and worldly experience has been with her fellow corncob pipe smokers and of whom she is the undisputed intellectual.  I can’t fathom any other reason she’d think people are so fucking dumb that a commentary on the intrinsic dangers of landing a plane on a glacier would be enlightening.  Or that she would even explain that a glacier is made of ice.  Is this woman really capable of comprehending climate change science never mind contriving policy on it?

But perhaps best of all is this quote from the half-term governor:

“About halfway up the rock, I did not know if I was going to be able to finish the task,” she tells the camera. “But I didn’t want to quit. I didn’t want to quit in front of other people.”

Ha!  I think she meant to say, “I didn’t want to quit in front of other people …AGAIN.”

* Onward … perhaps you remember the Facebook kerfuffle her kids – Bristol and Willow – had with some peers who were not big fans of the Palin tv show.  With apparently nothing cogent to say, the Palin girls resorted to homophobic invective.  TMZ turned the Facebook dialogue into a .pdf file which you can torture yourself with at the link.  It’s important to note here that Willow is 16 and Bristol is 20.  We’re not exactly talking about little kids here.  A whole family of white trash.

* Here we see that the Mama Grizzly is not the salt of the earth, folksy gal she says she is and she really only cares about herself.  A shocking revelation, no doubt.  When asked by Christine “cuddles” O’Donnell, Delaware Senate candidate, to campaign on her behalf, good ol’ average Jane declined and instead spent the day watching the Jets game from the team’s owner’s luxury box.

* This one is great.  Palin’s very own FOX “news” was caught making fun of her during a commercial break.  Uh oh.  I guess we have to now classify FOX as part of the ‘lamestream media’ that unfairly attacks Sarah the Martyr.

* And FOX isn’t the only friendly fire Palin is under.  Conservative columnist Mona Charen blasted her for, well, the obvious.

“Palin was advised by those who admire her natural gifts to bone up on policy and devote herself to governing Alaska successfully. Instead, she quit her job as governor after two and a half years, published a book (another is due next week), and seemed to chase money and empty celebrity.”

“Perhaps the former governor should not be blamed for the decisions of her adult daughter. Yet there in the audience we see Sarah and Todd Palin, mugging for the camera and cheering on their unwed-mother daughter as she bumps and grinds to the tune of “Mamma Told Me (Not to Come).” Her parents had advised her, the 20-year-old Bristol told an interviewer, that she had to stay “in character” if she expected to win. Being “in character” apparently meant descending to the vulgarity that “DWTS” peddles on a weekly basis. The momma grizzly was apparently unfazed by — or, equally disturbing, unaware of — the indignity. And this is supposed to be a conservative culture warrior?”

Ouch.

* And it gets worse.  Beloved former First Lady Barbara Bush – a.k.a. The Quaker Oats Guy – got in on the act.

Barbara Bush is also the Quaker Oats guy

“I sat next to her once, thought she was beautiful, and I think she’s very happy in Alaska …and I hope she’ll stay there.”

Oh, my.  Sarah Palin got sucker punched by a grandma.

* Peggy Noonan, another (female) conservative columnist, had a few choice words for Palin when she compared herself to Republican God Ronald Reagan:

“Excuse me, but this was ignorant even for Mrs. Palin. Reagan people quietly flipped their lids, but I’ll voice their consternation to make a larger point. Ronald Reagan was an artist who willed himself into leadership as president of a major American labor union (Screen Actors Guild, seven terms, 1947-59.) He led that union successfully through major upheavals (the Hollywood communist wars, labor-management struggles); discovered and honed his ability to speak persuasively by talking to workers on the line at General Electric for eight years; was elected to and completed two full terms as governor of California; challenged and almost unseated an incumbent president of his own party; and went on to popularize modern conservative political philosophy without the help of a conservative infrastructure. Then he was elected president.”

* A columnist at CNN jumped in on Palin’s Reagan analogy.

“Ms. Palin, serious stuff needs to be accomplished in Washington.

If you want to be a player, go to school and learn the issues. Put smart people around you and listen to them. If you want to be taken seriously, be serious. You’ve already got your own forum. If you want to be a serious presidential candidate, get to work. If you want to be an imitator of Ronald Reagan, go learn something about him and respect his legacy.

If you want to be a gadfly, just keep doing what you’re doing.”

* And last but not least, conservative MSNBC host and former Republican Congressman Joe Scarborough has seen enough of the Dipshit From The North.  Responding to Palin’s criticism of George Bush The Elder, Scarborough said:

“I suppose Palin’s harsh dismissal of this great man is more understandable after one reads her biography and realizes that, like Bush, she accomplished a great deal in her early 20s. Who wouldn’t agree that finishing third in the Miss Alaska beauty contest is every bit as treacherous as risking your life in military combat? Maybe the beauty contestant who would one day be a reality star and former governor didn’t win the Distinguished Flying Cross, but the half-termer was selected as Miss Congeniality by her fellow contestants.”

Oooooh, sarcasm.  A taste of Palin’s own bile.  Nice!

* There are two main reasons Sarah Palin is such a pinata: she’s dumb and she’s mean.

* A sample of her mean streak.  Palin recently blasted Michelle Obama for the latter’s anti-childhood obesity campaign.  Who other than a few racists and Palin could possibly trash such a nice woman who is trying to help kids?  In her new book (no word yet if she wrote this one herself or if she hired a ghost writer like last time), Palin said of Michelle Obama:

“Take her anti-obesity thing that she is on. She is on this kick, right. What she is telling us is she cannot trust parents to make decisions for their own children, for their own families in what we should eat. And I know I’m going to be again criticized for bringing this up, but instead of a government thinking that they need to take over and make decisions for us according to some politician or politician’s wife priorities, just leave us alone, get off our back, and allow us as individuals to exercise our own God-given rights to make our own decisions and then our country gets back on the right track.”

Really??!!  It takes a special kind of asshole to advocate against healthy children in order to score cheap political points.  The irony here is that the only people who listen to Palin are the same ones who need Michelle Obama’s help the most: the uneducated trailer trash who serve their kids Velveeta and Pepsi casseroles.

* This isn’t the first time Palin has sharpened her cat claws and gone after Mrs. Obama.  Palin repeatedly misrepresents a quote from her in which she said she was very proud to be American for what she saw during the Presidential campaign.  Combining her best petty vitriol and race-baiting rhetoric, Palin said of Michelle Obama’s quote:

“Certainly his wife expressed this view when she said during the 2008 campaign that she had never felt proud of her country until her husband started winning elections. In retrospect, I guess this shouldn’t surprise us, since both of them spent almost two decades in the pews of the Reverend Jeremiah Wright’s church listening to his rants against America and white people.”

What’s both humorous and shameful about Palin’s above remark is that she’s always complaining about being misquoted and misrepresented by the ‘lamestream media.’  Apparently Palin has a double standard.

* Palin’s stupidity is legendary at this point, but I’ll highlight a few examples just for my own amusement.  First, we have her college career.  She went to six colleges in five years until she eventually found one easy enough for her to squeeze out a degree in communications for which she then became a sports reporter on local tv.

* Even more impressively inept is her high school transcript.  Her innate brilliance and diligence earned her a 2.2 GPA.  On her SATs she averaged the 34th percentile.  Call me an elitist snob, but I don’t think that’s presidential material.  I don’t even think that’s 7-11 material.

* Of course there’s that little faux pas in which we learned that Palin did not know there was a difference between North and South Korea.  Not once, but twice.

* Immediately after the Wikileaks scandal, Palin said Obama should be able to take legal action against Julian Assange (the Australian Wikileaker) just like she won a court injunction for leaked excerpts from her new book: “Inexplicable: I recently won in court to stop my book ‘America by Heart’ from being leaked,” she wrote, “but US Govt can’t stop Wikileaks’ treasonous act?”

Yikes.  In just one sentence Palin proved she knows nothing about ‘fair use’ copyright law (and she claims to have studied journalism?!), she doesn’t even understand the basics of international law, and she doesn’t know what treason is.  I’m not sure I’ve ever seen stupidity packaged so efficiently.

* In November Palin attacked the state of Pennsylvania’s plans to provide healthier food to public school children.  Palin – as usual – did not understand the state’s plan but that didn’t stop her from lambasting the state.  If you ever fear your cookies will be taken away, you definitely want Palin on your side.

Before meeting with (private) school children in PA, Palin Tweeted on Cookie-gate: “2 PA school speech; I’ll intro kids 2 beauty of laissez-faire via serving them cookies amidst school cookie ban debate;Nanny state run amok!”

She then met with the students, brought them cookies that she allegedly made herself and said, “I wanted these kids to bring home the idea to their parents for discussion.  Who should be deciding what I eat? Should it be government or should it be parents? It should be the parents.”

Wow.  Not only were her facts completely wrong, but she somehow managed to get laissez-faire into her shtick.  Laissez-faire?  Really?!

Oh, and it doesn’t appear that Palin ever corrected her mistake or apologized.  Yup, trailer trash.

* Lastly, let’s touch upon one last time Palin’s disgusting race-baiting.  As said in an article at The Root:

“Her most unflinching comments, however, center on race — specifically, the racial dynamics surrounding the Obama presidency and the increasing suspicion by many progressives that Palin, the Tea Partiers and the entire anti-Obama establishment are motivated by racism.

Palin clearly thinks not. In fact, on Planet Palin, racism essentially does not exist but is merely a misanthropic by-product of African Americans’ refusal to shut up, toughen up and truly become American patriots. This question of patriotism versus racism has been tackled by both white and black leaders since before the Civil War.”

There really shouldn’t be any doubt what an awful, vile human being Palin is.  A dumb, mean, racist.  There’s really nothing more to say; Palin adequately (albeit unwittingly) says it all for us.

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