A #16 and Scorpion Bowl … American Style

January 19, 2011

no cats died in the preparation of this meal

The White House is hosting an official state dinner tonight for Chinese president Hu Jintao. According to the AP:

“More than 200 guests will dine on a main course of dry-aged rib eye steak with buttermilk crisp onions, double stuffed potatoes and creamed spinach.

There’s a first course of pear salad and a second course of poached Maine lobster with orange-glazed carrots and black trumpet mushrooms.”

Funny, my chef made this same thing tonight.

 

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U.S. Sends Recycling to Ireland

October 4, 2010

As part of a high school science project a student launched a message in a bottle from the Florida shore and it made its way to Ireland.  The bottle was discovered approximately 16 months after launch.

No word if the student will be deducting the nickel refund as an education expense on his tax filing.

The letter inside the bottle read, in part, “Can you believe this is how we actually spend our school time in America?”  No, not really.  I made that up.  But, seriously, does the teacher actually think this is a valuable lesson plan?

I’m reminded of a scene from the late David Foster Wallace’s novel Infinite Jest where the futuristic U.S. devised an enormous catapult by which it would airmail its trash to Canada.


Xenophobia Is Stewpud

September 24, 2010

I know American culture warriors are a proud lot, but I suggest they open their minds and tame their xenophobia.  They may like it.