Dare To Express Yourself

the most, er, charismatic tree on the lot

This year Mr. and Mrs.  Jones let little Billy choose the Christmas tree.

Going Rogue

Papa Bear needs to get with the program.  A family Xmas card is only as strong as the weakest link.

German Superiority

Google translation: "Please sit in pee" Seriously.

Maybe this is the Aryan superiority Herr Fuhrer was talking about.  Show offs.  Feh.

Xmas Ninjas and Whores

The family that freaks together, stays together.

Set Your Phasers To Sexxxxxy

Proving that trekkies can, in fact, get laid.

FOX ‘News’ Makes You Retarded

profile of typical FOX viewer

(** updated: 6:00 pm)

We interrupt this hiatus to confirm the obvious: FOX news makes you stupid.

As I addressed previously, a 2003 study from the University of Maryland found that FOX news viewers are significantly more ignorant than people who primarily get their news from … well, anywhere else.   A follow-up study is now available with data that demonstrates FOX is better than ever.  And “better” in FOX parlance means it’s now even more effective in dumbassifying its audience. 

Some quick highlights of the misinformation and you can then read the survey for yourself. 

• 91 percent believe the stimulus legislation lost jobs
• 72 percent believe the health reform law will increase the deficit
• 72 percent believe the economy is getting worse
• 60 percent believe climate change is not occurring
• 49 percent believe income taxes have gone up
• 63 percent believe the stimulus legislation did not include any tax cuts
• 56 percent believe Obama initiated the GM/Chrysler bailout
• 38 percent believe that most Republicans opposed TARP
• 63 percent believe Obama was not born in the U.S. (or that it is unclear)

Yikes.  Stupidity of that magnitude takes vigilant, determined effort. 

We now return you to, er, my hiatus.

* hat tip to Julia for the aforementioned study.

**  Update: Michael Clemente, FOX’s senior vice president of news editorial, responded to the study by telling the New York Times:  “The latest Princeton Review ranked the University of Maryland among the top schools for having ‘Students Who Study The Least’ and being the ‘Best Party School’ – given these fine academic distinctions, we’ll regard the study with the same level of veracity it was ‘researched’ with.”

The only problem is that Mr. Clemente is wrong.  What the Princeton Review actually says is that the University of Maryland ranks among the “Best Northeastern Colleges.” It was No. 19 on the Review’s list of “Best Party Schools.”

So there ya have it.  FOX News excuses its misinformation with … misinformation.

Only at FOX, folks.

Please Take Alternate Route

No one tiptoes through these tulips

The Poopdeck will be unattended for most of the next month.  Please read a newspaper for all your shit needs and watch FOX if you need an enema.

Oh, and wash your hands thoroughly when you’re done.  You’ll need it.

Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Online

Well, it’s not exactly revenge; it’s more like a passive-aggressive tantrum.  But it’s funny nonetheless.

After discovering that his girlfriend cheated on him, a jilted beau logged in to his philandering ex’s Netflix queue and spent hours rating movies about betrayal.  By rating these movies, the girlfriend would be provided with movie suggestions that would always remind her of what she did (and who she is).

A posted screen grab of the Netflix recommendations his girlfriend received include The Scarlet Letter, Unfaithful, Indecent Proposal, Whore and Slutty Summer.  (Somehow Bambi also made it onto the suggestion page, but that doesn’t distract too much from the point; it’s just a funny bonus to the story.)

It’s not exactly the boldest response to a cheating ex, but he deserves credit for thinking outside the box.

Netflix Guy gets 3 and a half shits from the poopdeck.

 

Merry (Southern) Christmas

No War On Christmas or Happy Holiday shit here.  This is a good ol’, down-home Jesus Christmas.

Merry Christmas!

Sincerely,

Alabama

the way Jesus would do it

As my friend Kristin likes to sarcastically say, “Give it to Jesus!”

There’s Someone For Everyone

Need I say more?  Gotta love holiday cards.

I can’t tell if these people look like they’d be the best or the worst neighbors in the world.  I can see it going either way.